As Zelghinna left Elythanar that morning she had no idea the journey she was about to embark on.  It was not only a journey of knowledge, but also a journey of desire...

As I look back I realized this journey tested me on the very principles I have grown to embrace. I believe now, at this time, that Lloth herself guided me on this fateful day.

Walking the cobbled streets of Triboar, wandering aimlessly, I was filled with an insatiable lust to learn.  I had no idea where I would find a suitable tutor, or any idea exactly what I wanted to learn, but I couldn't shake the desire in me.  I stopped occasionally to wet my throat, but was anticipating reaching the inn where I could sit and drink in peace.

Humans call it "coincidence" when two lives come smashing together, but I say it is the hand of Lloth, guiding us to our destiny.  So it was no strange occurrence to me, when I found myself in the company of the Ilharess Arielana.  It was one of those days.

At first I tried to get away, to make some excuse, but it was hopeless, for deep down inside I knew I had found my teacher, and though I knew not what I wanted to learn, I respected her enough to realize that all the education one wanted was now at my fingertips.

At first it started innocently enough.  Seeking knowledge, I was looking to better myself in the eyes of Lloth and my Yathtallar. I new that I was on a short time schedule. To begin learning now would cost me valuable time, but I was enthralled.  I couldn't leave if I wanted to.

We began in earnest, an Ilharess and yathrin, both proud, dominant, testing and weighing each other.  She taught me many things that day... much of which just reaffirmed the Yathtallar’s teachings.  Some of my education truly enlightened me, filled me with pride and courage.  I listened to her every word, paying full attention to her.  Yes we still weighed and tested each other, a silent battle of wills, but our concentration went beyond that, to the point where nothing mattered except shared knowledge.

We actually built a type of rapport between us, a grudging respect.  Then the rules of the game changed.  The door opened and the Ilharn Zacnefear walked in...

At first I feigned disinterest, hoping to cull the desire in me before that landed me in trouble.  I tried not to notice him, but what’s not to notice... he was strong, handsome, and knowledgeable.  I mentally whipped myself to pay attention, but my attention was elsewhere.  My eyes kept wandering and I was warm inside, but the temperature in that room had dropped.  Arielana was no longer teaching, but watching me intensely.

The silence in the room was deafening...

The day was foggy, hard to see. I, and the female drow I knew to be my mistress, started into the haze. We journeyed in a land that carried the stench of reptiles. A sound... breathing? From above, dragons suddenly struck... I ran and hid. Watching, I saw the female begin talking with them like old friends, so I slipped away unseen. 

Fear... I feel it course through my body as I wander, knowing I must go on, but to where I have no clue.

She's back, I spot her walking... looking around. The female imposed her mastery over me, and I followed blindly... her leading me where I knew I belonged. Just before sunset we came to an entrance under the dirt... smells of urine and an undertone of decay drifted to my nose. I stumbled, falling through darkness... that’s all I knew until the impact. Caves. I continued to follow this female, oblivious to the death lurking in the darkness with teeth and claws.

You don’t see or hear them until they're trying to tear your throat out... but the little female fought with a bedazzling display of force. Days... hours... can't tell which applied, but we finally stopped and the female pointed at something I carried. I rummaged out some rolled up parchment that smelled like tree bark. I began to chew on one and was rewarded with a slap from my mistress. After a few minutes... I saw familiar shapes on the parchments.

She jabbed a slim stick, with scribbles all over it, into my hand, shoving me forward. Huge ugly flying eyes... and another female like my mistress is there... my mind echoed with, "Kill them, kill them..." I charged, swinging my marked stick. I pointed the stick and blabbed some idiocy. To my shock, lighting shot from my stick and blasted several foul giants. I shot and swung... my entire existence revolved around those two actions. Tired, bloody, and hurting, I take in all around me... the eyes are now heaps, bashed and broken... the rest charred and frizzy... only we live.

Tullarix barely felt the pebbles and rocks beneath his booted feet as he walked away from the private cottage that belonged to his mother, Mavralyn. Located somewhere in the Neverwinter Woods it didn't take Tull long to retrace his steps back to the hidden cavern that led down to Rilauven, his Underdark home. His mind raced with many discomforting thoughts, born from his recent visit with his mother. A visit to accept the punishment he knew he deserved for his indiscretion during a meeting in one of the private rooms of Strider's Inn.

“Must always remember to kneel and follow my mother’s commands,” Tullarix thought over and over as he walked towards the mouth of the cavern.

Almost of an age to be sent to the Academy for training, he still had much learning and training when it came to the ways of his people. He knew that his life, his male life, mattered not a whit unless it helped in increasing the might of his goddess Lloth and that of his house, Elythanar.

His latest mistakes of greetings and behavior towards his mother, the Matron of House Elythanar, and the other females should never have happened. His training in how to act towards the females of the house and those of other houses he still remembered vividly. He could still see the rise and fall of those snake-headed whips, and the wicked, menacing gleam in the crimson eyes of Yathrin Zelghinna who had given the proper ‘motivations’ for his learning the ways of his people.

Maybe he had traveled much too much on the surface above. Maybe he had mingled much too much with the other races above. Minor and insignificant though they seemed, he had gained much amusement and entertainment in learning their banal customs and behaviors. “Though some of the human females do know how to ‘entertain’,” a small wicked grin played across his lips at that thought.

Finally reaching the cavern and starting down into the deep, black depths of the Underdark, his mind began to haze over and his steps became automatic. His magical items automatically activating as they sensed his mind start on one of its journey's to his early days. His final thoughts before his memories overcame him totally was that the House Wizard's items he used had better work...

... He sensed only the warm and soothing liquid that surrounded his curled young form. Enjoying the floating sensation he also knew that he wasn’t alone in this floating void. He could sense another presence close by, and without knowing how, he knew that this other presence was his twin brother.

“Brother? What in the Nine Hells did that mean?” With a mental shrug, he just forgot all about it and returned to the blissful floating sensation he enjoyed for what seemed like forever.

That was the be all and end all of his existence, floating in the void and thinking of floating some more. Once in awhile he would hear in his mind a silky-smooth voice coming across the void and telling him things about all he was expected to do and his importance in some plans. He did not know what they all meant and he didn’t even know what was being said but he listened anyway as he floated blissfully. What he did think of could only be interpreted as being mischievous.

One such thought made him reflexively kick out a few times in mirth. The kicks were abruptly followed by a sudden sloshing of his floating then a gradual calming of the void around him.

When the void around him calmed down once more, he returned to enjoying the quiet floating. He thought for the nigh umpteenth time, “Life couldn't be better...”

---

Memories, Part 2
by Tullarix Elythanar

Suddenly Tullarix was magically wrenched from his memories by an enchanted piece of jewelry given him by the house wizard, Shadosin. Quickly he mumbled a phrase and cast enlarge to give him an advantage over whatever danger had activated the brooch.

His purple-reddish eyes scanned the area around him. Soon he saw what danger was facing him this time. High above his head and quickly making its turnaround was an Underdark deepbat. He set his feet warily, knowing that if there were one deepbat there would be more nearby. As the deepbat swung and dove for him, Tull readied another spell and steadied his stance for his attack.

Leathery wings flapping then sweeping back for the attack, the deepbat never got close to lowering its poisonous scorpion-like tail. Tull, using his innate drow abilities, levitated suddenly above the diving deepbat and swung his adamantite mace heavily on its unprotected skull. He was soon rewarded with a crunching sound as the mace caved in the fragile bone. His blood now racing, he cast a quick magic missile at another winged creature that had snuck in behind the first. Soon there were two twitching deepbats lying on the rocky ground, their lives slowly seeping away.

Levitating slowly downward, he made a few sweeps to check for any more deepbats or creatures that may still cause him danger and harm. Sensing with his eyes and with the magical brooch, he was soon satisfied that he was safe for now. And none too soon as he was again wrenched back to his past memories...

... A tiny thumb stuck in between his tiny lips, the baby drow, Tullarix, thought how life could not get any better. But this soon ended when the calm void he floated in suddenly started to lurch violently. Thumb out from his lips, he started to worry to what was starting to occur around his body. Worried and a bit confused, Tull tried to calm himself, but then something bumped into him and he knew that his neighbor just bumped into him.

From somewhere deep within his primal inherent memories, he knew that his days of lazily floating were about to end. "Maybe it wont be so bad. Maybe it'll be something better than this," he thought. With that fleeting thought, a sudden flash of brightness from up ahead blinded him temporarily.

“This is it...” he thought, but he knew that his neighbor also knew this. He decided then that he was not going to let his neighbor get there first. Shifting his body around and moving it ahead to block the path of his other neighbor, he floated ahead towards the bright light. From behind, he felt the other form bump into his legs and back, almost as if it also knew that it should get to the bright light first.

The light began to get bigger and brighter as he got closer, the form behind him still bumping against him, almost trying to climb over his back. But his worries about if he made it first soon ended when a freezing wash of air blasted him followed by another flash of blinding light. He felt silky hands on his head, cradling it gently, as the rest of his body followed him out of the tight cocoon.

Shivering from the change in temperature, his body was shifted and then he felt a sharp, pain on his lower body. Coughing out liquid that he had been breathing earlier, he cried out. As he cried and cried, he heard voices around him.

His memories recalled the words.

"Lloth has blessed us." from his memories of past and present, Tull knew that voice to be that of his beautiful mother...